Inviting an au pair into your home is an exciting step, especially when you’re looking for help with childcare. But when it comes to household chores, things can get a little blurry. Can your au pair help with housework? Should they be responsible for anything beyond taking care of the kids? Let’s break down what you should expect and how to make sure everyone is on the same page.
What is an Au Pair’s Primary Role?
First things first: an au pair is primarily there to provide childcare. They’re part of a cultural exchange program, not a domestic worker. This distinction is important. While an au pair will live in your home and be involved in your family’s day-to-day life, their main focus should be on looking after your children. This includes tasks directly related to childcare like:
- Helping with morning routines (getting kids dressed, breakfast, etc.)
- Dropping off and picking up children from school or activities
- Preparing meals for the children
- Assisting with homework or educational activities
- Playing and engaging with the kids
- Bedtime routines
It’s easy to see that an au pair’s duties can already be quite a handful. But, what about housework?
Light Housework: What’s Okay?
Most au pairs are happy to pitch in with some light housework, especially if it relates to the kids. After all, they’re living with you and likely want to contribute. The key is to understand what’s reasonable. Here are some common household tasks an au pair might be expected to help with:
- Cleaning up after the kids (toys, books, etc.)
- Tidying up the children’s bedrooms
- Washing and folding the children’s laundry
- Cleaning up after meals, especially if they’ve prepared food for the kids
- Loading or unloading the dishwasher (specifically for children’s items)
These tasks are typically seen as part of their childcare responsibilities. Just make sure you’re not expecting too much outside of these kid-related duties.
What About General Housekeeping?
Now, here’s where things get tricky. General household chores—like scrubbing bathrooms, vacuuming the living room, or taking care of your laundry—are generally not part of an au pair’s responsibilities. Remember, they are not a cleaner or a maid. It’s important to set clear boundaries so there’s no confusion. Expecting your au pair to take on full cleaning responsibilities may lead to dissatisfaction on both sides.
That being said, some au pairs may be open to helping with more general chores, but this should always be a voluntary decision and often comes with additional compensation. It’s essential to talk openly with your au pair about what they’re comfortable doing.
Setting Clear Expectations from the Start
Having an honest conversation with your au pair from the very beginning is the best way to avoid any misunderstandings down the road. Here are a few tips on how to set clear expectations:
- Be Transparent in Your Interview Process
If you expect your au pair to help with light housework, let them know during the interview process. Be clear about what that housework includes and make sure they’re comfortable with it. - Write it Down in the Contract
Having everything written down in an official contract is important. This contract should outline not just the au pair’s childcare duties but also any light housework you expect. By formalizing these details, there will be less room for confusion later on. - Set Boundaries Around Housework
Make sure you’re clear about which tasks are related to childcare and which are general household chores. For example, tidying the playroom may be a part of their daily routine, but vacuuming the entire house is not. - Respect Time Off
Your au pair is entitled to time off, just like any other worker. Don’t expect them to pitch in with chores during their time off. If you need additional help with household chores, consider hiring a separate cleaner. - Regularly Check-in
Communication is key in any relationship. Regularly check in with your au pair to see how they’re feeling about their workload. This is a good time to adjust duties if they’re feeling overwhelmed or if something is not working.
What If More Help Is Needed?
Sometimes, families realize they need more help with household chores than initially thought. If this is the case, consider these options:
Hire a cleaner
This way, your au pair can focus on the children, while a cleaner takes care of the more labor-intensive household work.
Discuss Extra Compensation
If your au pair is willing to take on additional housework, it’s only fair to offer extra pay. This could be a good solution if your needs are relatively small, but remember to always ask if they’re comfortable with the extra responsibility first.
When an Au Pair Isn’t the Right Fit for Heavy Housework
There’s no harm in recognizing that an au pair might not be the best solution for your home if you need a lot of help around the house. Au pairs are fantastic for helping with childcare, and a little bit of housework, but if you’re looking for someone who can manage household tasks full-time, you may need to consider a different kind of arrangement, like hiring a housekeeper or nanny with more comprehensive duties.
Final Thoughts
Having an au pair is a wonderful experience for many families, but setting clear expectations from the start is crucial. While they can help with light housework related to the kids, it’s essential not to cross the line into expecting full-blown housekeeping services. Open communication, respect for their role, and a fair understanding of boundaries will ensure a positive relationship for everyone involved.
